Musings From Over The Hill
Kelsey's Intro: [When I reached out to Miss Tammy to see if she'd share some nuggets with us and she threw out this post's topic as an option I knew there was no one better to speak on this. Miss Tammy is someone I know I can always go to for solid advice on really anything and it's been that way since I met her. She makes you feel at home, safe, and like family instantly in a way I had never experienced until meeting her. I aspire to her levels of deep, gracious wisdom and seek to model her generous hospitality. I know you'll gain some valuable perspectives today as you hear her Musings From Over The Hill.]
I’m not sure what age I was when I realized my parents were wiser than me. Probably around the time I had my first child - that will change a person’s perspective won’t it? I’m not talking intellectual or emotional maturity, but actual life-shaped wisdom. When I realized that my elders held a wealth of knowledge and experiences that I could lean into, draw insight from.
I was so fortunate (and still am) to have several family members and friends that I could turn to for advice - parenting, family issues, financial, spiritual, etc. I am equally as fortunate now, to have younger family members and friends turn to me for sage advice. It only makes sense - people who have lived longer have experienced more…More family changes, societal change, more love and more heartache, more life and more death.
I have had many an elder’s hand guide me through some of my most difficult life’s experiences and now I find I’m that older person holding the younger generations hand. I have experienced family heartache, broken relationships, financial hardships, illnesses, job loss, death. I have also come to know that after each and every “wrecking ball moment” in my life, God has used the experience for learning, if not good. Each trial has set me up for the next generation to listen to, lean on and learn from, and for that, I would not change one of them.
I have also experienced great joy, peace, success and satisfaction in my life. I have shared all with old and young alike. I have already lived a full life. I am grateful every day.
My favorite book is “Cold Tangerines” by Shauna Niequest. It is full of short stories celebrating the extraordinary nature of everyday life. About focusing on the blessings and tribulations God gives to us and finding gratitude in and through them.
If I had to give my younger self, or the younger generation, wisdom I have learned along the way it would go something like this:
- Be kind. You never know what someone is going through. (I’ve been on both sides of this.)
- Spend time with your family and let them know they are loved. I have held too many dying hands and this has never been a regret.
- Accept yourself where you are at and give yourself GRACE. Find and embrace your selfhood. I am my own worst critic and have often let childhood insecurities creep into my adult thought process.
- Take time to do things that make YOU happy. Sing, walk, travel, bake, have a pet, enjoy yourself.
- Go to Church / Seek God Again, been on both sides of this and I can personally say life is easier in every aspect when I am walking with the Lord.
- Slow down. My husband and I practice “taking a pause” when having heated discussions, or making big decisions. Pause, Pray, Ponder.
- Fall in love with your life. Or at least accept it and look for small moments of joy that feed into this.
- Don’t presume other’s motives, accept your own feelings. Let people be their authentic selves and meet them where they are at. Accept your expectations may not be your children’s vision or goals. Have similar and have completely different hobbies than your spouse.
- Fight fair. Don’t say or do anything that can’t be taken back.
- Smell the flowers, sit in the sun with a book, eat the cake, always be learning, kiss the booboos, love unabashedly.
- And listen to your elders. Learn from them. Lean on them. I am now in the “over 60” demographic, there are days that I feel it - and there are days when I remember so vividly when my children were young, as if it were yesterday.
Life truly is a gift - live it.
About Author: Tammy Keys - 62 years old, Married, 3 married children, 2 grandchildren. Upstate New Yorker now living in South Carolina. Loves God, family, the beach, dogs, walks, music, travel.
Tammy's Recipe:
benevempress
Tammy's Recommendation:
